There are so many things flitting, churning, pulsing through my brain right now. A lot of things have happened the last few days, a lot of things reminding me of just what an active role my Heavenly Father plays in not only my life, but my every happiness. A lot of these things are confusing, yet exciting, and I'm not exactly sure what to do with them. How do I harness this and bring glory to God through the written word? How do I encourage others with my blatherings, and yet not come across as self-important? (How do I not feel self-important when something I write just happens to make sense in my own head?) How do I convey my flaws, how do I prevent myself from shying away from them? How do I present who I am, my identity of who God sees me as, as accurately as can be expected, and yet still encourage each others and not thoroughly discourage myself?
Well, there's a question, can I become thoroughly discouraged while examining myself through God's eyes? I guess it depends on how I'm viewing it. Am I comparing myself to God's inheirant measuring stick, the one that He has cast aside and stored away until the one day that He will need it again, or am I willing to see myself the true way God sees me? Faults and shortcomings completely included, but all completely accepted and loved as a part of myself, His child.
That's something for me to think about, pray about, meditate on for a while. How does God see me? What does Father see when He looks at me? Why is it that love shines unchangingly out of His eyes when my faults are so prevelant and so close to the surface, (if the surface isn't actually completely made up of them as it is?)
I know God loves me, and I'm beginning to understand why, it's mostly wrapped up in why He created me. But, how does this love of His affect what my relationship with Him should be, and how is what it should be different from my actual current perception of it? Peel Lord, please! Reveal to me Your will, Your life, Your love!
I know, really complicated, I'm making my own head hurt. At least it's something I have down in writing, it will make it easier to categorize in my brain and think about now....hopefully.