Saturday, May 23, 2009

My Future and Past

Looking at the picture I didn't realize until now was still the header to my blog, it is very tempting to go straight away to Photobucket to make a new one. But then I wouldn't follow through on my decision to write today. (I'm a professional procrastinator. But probably already know that.)

I've been rather restless lately. Everytime I feel the itch to write, I find I have no idea what to say, which is dissatisifying enough as to prevent me from actually writing. I miss school. I miss longing for time to write whatever I want instead of what's required of me on a class syllabus. But, it's going to be a while until I have the chance or financial opportunity to go back to school. Unless I start taking online courses from a community college. Just to get some Gen. Eds. done. If I do that, I'm going to avoid taking any English classes. English is my chosen major, and if I can get as many Gen. Eds. done as possible before I enroll fulltime in school again, that means I'll have that much more time and opportunity for English classes than I would otherwise. That way I also can take advantage of everything the English department at the school I end up going to has to offer. (I didn't take any English classes when I went to Grinnell either. It took me until AFTER I'd left to realize that English was the perfect major for someone like me who loves reading and writing......)

As of right now, I'm looking at both The University of MN - Main U, and The University of Iowa in Iowa City. They are both very good schools, but I'm hoping to go to The University of Iowa because they have one of the best if not THE best English Departments in the nation. A lot depends on the fact that I'm in a serious relationship though. And right now my priority is not school, but moving to Des Moines so that Christopher and I can FINALLY NOT be a long-distance relationship couple.

I went to the Grinnell graduation this last Monday. It was the Class of 2009, the class I was supposed to be apart of. It was hard for me, even though I was so happy to see all my friends there graduate. About half-way through the day the sadness hit me, about how what was supposed to be MY day, the day I had been looking forward to since before I even graduated from high school, I was in the position of bystander. Don't get me wrong, I know that my choosing to leave Grinnell because of how crazy my life had become, (as well as the fact that I think I would have gone crazy under stress if I hadn't left,) I still wish leaving hadn't been necessary. Except for my salvation and Christopher, Grinnell was the best thing that ever happened to me. It's an experience I will always cherish, and something I never want to lose hold of.

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